First Pastor: I hear you had a revival.
Second Pastor: Yes, we did.
First Pastor: How many additions did you have?
Second Pastor: We didn't have any additions but we had some blessed subtractions.
A minister was asked to inform a man with a heart condition that he had just inherited a million dollars. Everyone was afraid the shock would cause a heart attack and the man would die.
The minster went to the man's house and said, "Joe what would you if yu inherited a million dollars?"
Joe responded, "Well, Pastor, I think I would give half of it to th church."
The minister fell over dead.
(Its a good thing that my kumpare now has a computer shop that is just literally a few steps away from our home. Now, I can surf any time I like.)