Sex and World Aids Day

Dec. 1, World AIDS Day

I seldom read the paper now. I mean, they are expensive and getting more expensive. Must be because the cost of paper is getting higher and higher because of all the theses being written, or, maybe it’s because their circulation is already suffering because of the internet. Anyways, I’d rather spend my worthless peso surfing the net looking for news than buy a bulky spreadsheet with all the ads and all the uninteresting news about blah, blah, blah, cha-cha-cha and the latest mutation of the cha-cha (charter change) the con-ass (constitutional assembly) or the concatenation of equine bowel portals.

But once in a while, if I have that extra cash and if I want to look at the latest sexy tabloid model, I go to the nearest newsstand, pretending to peek contemptuously at the tabloids centerfold while buying the country’s number 1 daily, The Inquirer. I mean the country’s anti porn agency must be doing its job because these tabloids are becoming tamer and boring; or, they readers are getting better pictures from the net.

(I remember a conversation I had with my two school mates. “Kuya, why is it that men are that?” They asked me. “Like what?” I asked back. “You know, sex and sex, it’s all about sex and sex.” Of course they didn’t say it that way but that is what they are telling me, “With men it’s all about sex.” What can I say but, “it’s our nature, period.” “But we’re Christians and Christians are not supposed to be like that!” Haaaayyyyyy

… what can I again say but, “I’m sorry, it’s our nature and there’s nothing I can do about that…maybe castration.”

“But”…”

It’s our nature: hormonal, maybe; psychological, could be; spiritual, etc. pppppeeeerrrriiioood, I mean it’s our nature, the heterosexual male ha, and it’s not my fault.”

I know what this is all about.

All these bitterness against men is all about the bitterness of them not getting a man, I mean their ideal man.

Then the conversation went to marriage. “Kuya is sex outside marriage sin?” They kept nagging me. They want to hear an old impotent, unorthodox man’s view. “Sex outside of marriage is sin, but if you’re idea of marriage is the wedding, you need to reorient yourself. I mean…the pronouncement of the priest and the all that rituals do not make a marriage.

And getting married after becoming pregnant does not solve anything….and…” “But….”

“Just this, No Sex!!! Of course I didn’t tell it to them this way but that’s what I said.

“You see, you girls place too much importance on the wedding. Wedding is not marriage in the same way that circumcision does not confer manhood to a man. Sex outside of marriage is sin, but you must first know what marriage is because there are weddings that have no marriages.”

If ever these two schoolmates of mine get married, I hope they realize that sex is not that bad nor is it evil, in fact, it is wonderful.

These stories made me realize something: they are at the peak of their hormone surge while I’m near the ebbing of the tide—a painful realization of generation gap.)

(I better control these parentheses. I plan to write about sex because of a giant condom I saw on the paper…..)

Dec. 1 is world AIDS day. The Inquirer featured an article about a giant balloon condom being paraded on the streets of Baguio City. I don’t know why they use a giant condom as the icon for the fight against AIDS. For me it’s sexist, I suggest that next year they pair the giant balloon condom with a giant balloon IUD…you know, that snakelike Intra polyurethane device…or a giant balloon diaphragm…or better, much, much better a giant balloon chastity belt… I better stop now lest…how about a castrating knife…no…stop it… Waaaaahhhhhhhh…how about guava leaves with a barber’s shave…. Nooooooo…how about balloon tianaks (imps)….must stop, must stop…