Chiquito del sol

Movies. I haven’t seen movies for almost a…year. The last movie I watched with my family was that movie starring Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd…I forgot the guy’s last name. I was forced to watch this movie because of my wife and my daughter. I pleaded with them to let me just stay out of the movie house and just let me wait for them beside the ticket booth where I could spend productive hours looking at the ceiling. Saves money too. But our marriage contract dictates that we be together through thick and thin, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, through torture and insanity.

I hate Filipino movies because they are so, so predictable; so, so inane; so, so much waste of money. If I was Chairman La Guardia of the MTRCB I would rate all Filipino movies as X-rated—unfit for human and animalcules consumption. All that Filipino art movies? Spare me the artsy fartsy. Only one percent of Filipinos movies are good and they are not usually shown here because the people who appreciate them are not Filipinos.

The judges of good Filipino movies are not Filipinos for Filipino movies have brainwashed ordinary Filipinos into thinking that stupid Filipino movies are good movies. The best judges of Filipino movies are the people who never watch Filipino movies, like the Europeans, the Americans and me, yes, me!!!!!!!!!!!! (The rule of punctuation says that writers should minimize the use of the exclamation point for…your writing will seem juvenile or empty headed…--Punctuate it Right!, Harry Shaw p. 107) (Oh Yeah? Ha, ha, then why are you using exclamation point in the title of your book. I can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can’t do anything about it!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!) ([“Sorry” for the temporary insanity:] (I’m having problem with punctuations?’) (I have to be careful with this parenthetical insanity.)

I have a very short list of Filipino movies and they are movies that starred Chiquito. Why Chiquito? In the name of Odin and all the fatalist gods of Valhalla, why Chiquito? Because Chiquito reminded me of my late father, period. Not FPJ, Dolphy, Cesar Montano, or any other else but only Chiquito, Chiquito, Chiquito, Chiquito…I want Mang Kepweng and his alipores Tintoy, Kumander Surot and his fellow revolutionaries, Asyong Aksaya and his millions. I want Chiquito, Chiquito, Chiquitito!!!!!!!!!

How, oh, how my late father made me laugh every time he mimics Chiquito.

Mi haciendero de la silya

For favore mi de sol mia

Porque de hamon de sta maria

For dos for kwatro

Ala me magawa!

Chiquito.