Time Relativity and Old Age and nonsense

I have this fascination with mathematical formulas and I thought about or rather wished that I could have the facility to understand or at least catch glimpse of what all these symbols and how they operate. But no, they are and will continue to be hieroglyphics to me.

In my grade school days, I thought I was good with math, or at least not that bad at it, that was until I graduated from grade 6 and had my first encounter with algebra, then geometry to trigonometry and from then on, I gave up trying to figure out what all these symbols were about. Happy enough to have the arithmetic skill to count change.

But the fact that I was bad at it did not stop my fascination at the concept behind these seemingly powerful numbers and symbols, which are really nothing but shorthand for something that will take too long to explain using the English alphabets.

 As one of my former math professor said, "the shorter the formula the more difficult or complicated the concept behind it is", which didn't really mean anything to my numerically challenged brain, at all. NOTHING!

I guess the most famous formula is Einstein's E=mc2. Which I don't know what it is all about and all my introductory understanding of are from science fiction movies and stories.  From which I gathered that underneath the letters are stuffs that changed physics how we view reality from space, black holes, Uranus, etc. and of course time.

Time for us mere mortals (who are not given the magical powers to understand the mathematics of physics) is the passing of moments, the rotation of the earth, the passing season, ageing, white hairs, rheumatoid arthritis,  etc. It is fixed and only moves forward, according to common sense and classical Newtonian physics.

When Einstein came along and shocked the physics world with his theories, time became another dimension, space is not space anymore, it is now space-time. Time can be slowed down with velocity. Also his theories opened up the possibility, at least theoretically speaking, of time travel. Here I will stop because everything else from here is dark matter, as in dark. I have no idea about.

Philosophically, there is the idea by Immanuel Kant which says that time has no objective reality: "it is subjective and ideal, and originates from the mind's nature in accord with the stable scheme, as it were, for coordinating everything sensed externally." Simply put, time is not real, it is just how our brains are programmed to understand reality. 

But for all its mystery time is very real, at least the passing of it. I can feel it in my bones, in my mind, and in my heart (the organ, I mean). In my youth I was unmindful of its passing. its like a blur. time seemed so slow back then. I want to skip my teens, the restrictions, and the awkwardness that came with it and jumped right into adulthood, job and freedom.

That was until I reached the age of 30. The days had shifted to the high gear, everything seemed to be twice as fast as before, days flew by so fast.

I am now into my late forties, two years short of my fifth decade, and things are starting to get blurry with speed. Its been that long? How long has it been since I freaked out my elderly neighbors by riling up their dogs and have the snarling beasts go and chasing after me and my friends? 

Now, I am the elderly neighbor who is freaked out when my dogs are teased by children.

I cannot slow down time but I can do things slowly.

Walk slowly.

Eat slowly.

Sit down and stand up slowly, aside from the fact that my joints hurt now.

There's an old Indian proverb that says, "sitting down is better than standing, lying down is better than sitting, sleeping is better than lying down, being dead is better..."

I guess as I grow older I am becoming less and less attached, more detached to things I can not control.

Or maybe, I am just a highly functioning depressed individual who has lost interest in everything except guitar, gardening, art, music...maybe not that depressed, just lazy.

But whatever the case maybe, I have always taken comfort to the fact I am still alive and trying my best to be in the moment as much as possible wherever I am, whatever my situation is and whatever mood I am in.