These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I will not go into the details but February 2021 I think was one of the, if not the worst period of my life.
A lot of things were going on in my head, I was catastrophizing resulting to anxiety and insomnia.
The bombardment of worries are about things that I actually have no control of, useless and futile, yet seemed uncontrollable.
Negative thoughts, and even positive thoughts for the idea that tomorrow everything would be better was just as bad as thinking that tomorrow things would get worse for both produce anxiety and stresses to the mind in somewhat the same way.
I had to keep reminding myself that I am thinking needlessly about things I could not control and that I should focus on what I can do.
Of course not thinking is impossible. To think about nothing is self cancelling it just does not happen that way. thinking about nothing is thinking about something. it occupies the mind, it requires effort.
To lessen the anxiety and stress, I walk. Walking helped disperse the thoughts, it lessened the hyperactivity, I guess its a physiological thing, the action lessens the flow of the blood and oxygen going into the brain because it is needed somewhere else, in the feet, the arms, the torso.etc, and the physical exertion promoted sleep.
Though I guess people may find it weird that I walk going to the public market when there is a talipapa in our street, or when I walk to buy fruits at high noon...I walk when I feel anxiety is creeping in. People have asked me what happened to my motorcycle, or my bicycle, I guess they are not still used to see me walking almost all of the time.
Anyway, life goes on.
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