My pupils' top excuses for being absent in their classes

Checking the class attendance is a daily routine that can make or unmake my day. I and most basic education teacher, I guess, take class attendance seriously because it is in the grade school where the study habit of a student is established which is just as important as the academic learning they gain in school. Another obvious reason is that pupils do badly in examinations if they are often absent.

Sometimes we even have to call up their parents for a conference about their children's school attendance; we try to make sure that parents know that their children are not in schools because there are time when parents are not aware that their children are not attending school anymore. 

Its sad when pupils drop out of classes because of absenteeism.

Anyway, here are my pupils' top ten excuses for being absent in their classes :  

10. A neighbor told me that classes are suspended

There was a slight drizzle the morning before but after a few minutes the sun shone brightly. After a few minutes of settling down, I checked the attendance and one pupil was absent. 

The day after, I asked her thy she wasn't at school yesterday, and she replied, "my neighbor told me that classes were suspended, sir."

Me: "Who is your neighbor?"  

Pupil: "Sir, it's Iking?" 

Me: "Who is Iking?! Is he the principal? Is he the Mayor? Is he the President? Who is he that you believed him! Who is he" I told him showing a little bit of grit.

Class:  "Sir, Iking is a grade two pupil! Hahahahahaha" they all laughed.

Me: "You believed a grade two pupil!?"

Pupil: "Children don't lie!"

This happened more than once.

9. My clothes are still wet

Me: "You can come to school wearing any clothes as long as you are not naked!" I shouted.

Pupil: "Sir, we have no roof! The typhoon damaged our house."

"Okay" How can I argue with that.

8. My mother is sick

Me: "Are you a doctor? Will your mother feel better if you're not in school!"

Pupil: "Sir, I take care of my four siblings."

Me: "Whatever!"

7. My brother/sister is sick

Me: "You're running out of excuses!"

6. A relative died

Me:"Who died?"

Pupil:"My mother's cousin."

Me: 'Did your dead uncle rose from the dead when you skipped school?"

Pupil:"No sir"

Me: "Would you like to follow your dead uncle?"

Pupil: "No sir"

Me: "Don't skip school!"

5. Traffic

Me: "Where do you live? In Tanay, Makati, Cubao?

Pupil: "Sir, down there a few turns from the school."

4. I had a fever

Me: "Where's the doctor's certificate?"

Pupil: "Sir, we don't go to doctors; we go to the hilots."

Me; "Where's the hilot and the albularyo's certificate?"

Pupil "Hmmmmm...."

Me: "Sitdown!"

3. I woke up late

Me: "Grrrrrrrr"

2. I had an LBM

Me: "Did you bring me a sample....? Okay, wheres the certificate?"

1. We have no money

Then the drama begins...