Sunday, August 18, 2013

Rheumatism and the toilet seat

I was not able to go to church because my ankle was swollen, again. I have eaten too much peanuts while watching TV and add to that the mongo ( last friday's viand), and the togue okoys and other uric acid rich foods that all seemed harmless eaten at a small amount but all together added up, compounded to cause this swollen, throbbing ankle that was so painful to even move that I think I would pee just lifting it off the bed.

Photo not mine

I didn't sleep well last night. To relieve my pain, my wife and I bought liniment to at least topically ease the pain, but the stuff worked for a short time until it evaporated and the cold negated its heating effect. I was twisting turning on the bed but I had to do that without lifting my swollen ankle. Moving my affected leg was so painful that I had to use my arms to lift it so that I could change position while sleeping. It was so difficult that I (always) promised to watch my diet, but that's a promise that time and time again I fail to keep because every time I feel well again, I forget the pain and just eat food that I like or that caught my fancy especially street food.

Sunrise, I went to the toilet for my regular vowel movement. After I was done, I raised my butt to wash, (well, we Filipinos, majority that is, do not use toilet paper' we wash our butts with our left hands using water and soap) but just raising my butt was so painful that I had to sit down again. Our toilet was not equipped with railings the ones you find in a PWD (People with Disability) toilet that I was grimacing and cursing (por dos por kwatro...por pabor senor...) just lifting a few centimeters off so that I could insert my hand between the toilet seat and my butt. The experience was so painful that I had to slumped back down to the bowl after washing.

Photo definitely not me


Sitting down on the toilet seat was easy; it was the standing up that I was worried about. With no railings to hold on to, I had to put my hands on the rim of the toilet seat, painfully position my affected foot adjacent to my butt to establish the center of gravity, clenched my teeth, and then slowly lift my butt up and painfully rose up with all the courage and the decency not to shout and woke the whole neighborhood up. Add to that the fact that our toilet was manually flushed. Torture...it was torture.

Anyway, my wife was so moved by my condition that she woke up early and ran to the nearest drugstore to buy me planax. God bless her. Anyway, I think I should blame our grade leader because she told me that I needed to submit the grades for my pupils and the stress of just thinking about all that numbers...Naaahhh, its my diet.


Hmmm...maybe I will take a bath because my butt feels sticky.

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