“Detective come into my office, I have an interesting case for you,” Capt. Cruz grabbed Det. Pedro Pouetmo, who was rumored to be the great grandson of Agatha Christies’ Det. Hercule Poirot, by the arms.
“The Governor called. He wants me to send you to the capitol to solve a mysterious ‘gas explosion’ that almost killed his guests.” The detective noticed that his boss was in good humor. “Here’s the narrative of the incident, do your best Detective.”
The Chief of the Bulik-bulik Bureau of Crime Detection handed Pouetmo a manila envelope. “I hope you enjoy solving this one,” the Captain half smiled and half laughed. “Ciao…go,go,go… arrevaderci aroma…bonjour monsoon...”
From the Narrative Report
….The governor of Balac-bac had invited nutrition experts from Manila to help in his administration’s fight against malnutrition in the province…
…The guests were in the middle of their discussions when the Provincial Health Officer, who was speaking at that time, suddenly farted. The guest were dumfounded at the sudden outburst of gas that a few of them suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter, which of course, caused them to inhale air that increased pressures in their stomachs that later caused them to depressurize too. Of course this additional gas outburst created more laughter that created more gas pressures in the stomach that caused more gas depressurization that caused more laughter. The incessant release of stomach gasses compounded with the non-stop laughing exhausted the guest that they lost consciousness...
… It was 5 o’clock in the afternoon when the incident was discovered. The janitor was making his rounds when he came by the Conference Room and opened the door; the door literally flew open because of the positive gas pressure inside. It was fortunate that the janitor was not smoking that time because if he did the methane and butane content of the gas in the conference room would have ignited and caused a combustion creating a powerful vacuum in the conference room that would have imploded the whole structure...
…The Provincial Rescue Team came into the scene a few minutes later. Twelve gas-masked operatives hauled the victims to the ambulances. Medical examinations revealed that aside from fatigues, the guests also suffered from asphyxiation. They were released few hours later from the hospital…
“Det. Pouetmo,” Governor Alagaw said, “I heard how you solved my cousin Tubangbakod’s death. I’m impressed. Please help me solve this case. The press is already calling the province the Bio-gas capitol of the Philippines and it’s embarrassing us. I hope you do see the political fall out of this incident.” Det. Pouetmo was looking at the governor’s pleading face, and he can’t help but feel pity for the predicament the chief executive of Balac-bac is in. “I will do my best to solve this mysterious…er…gas evacuations governor. Rest assured that this will over with the soonest possible time.”
_____________________________________________________________
Det. Pouetmo was looking at the result of the laboratory analysis of the food served by the caterer. The result proved his hunch. He immediately ordered an interview with the chef in charge of the food preparation. After the interview, he then proceeded to the governor’s office. (Such was his efficiency.)
“Governor, it seems that the food served in the conference was the culprit. They were contaminated by a rare strain of flatus producing lacto-mycotarium-bacteria. I ordered a DNA analysis of the sample contaminants found in the food and I compared them to the DNA samples taken from the caterer’s staff. The result showed that the culprit was the chef. I interviewed him and did some test on him and we found out that he was suffering from a violent…er….virulent ring worm infection on his crotch. From what we gathered from his statement, it seems our chef scratch his crotch, didn’t wash his hands, infected the food.”
“Good work detective,” The Governor gravely said, “I was thinking of filing charges against the chef and the caterer. What do you suggest detective? Reckless imprudence resulting to …”
“No governor, I have a better suggestion. Why not give the chef a month’s supply of garlic for his ringworm…” There was a crack in the governor’s face, a few seconds later; the gravity on his face suddenly broke into laughter. “I dare say that’s a good one detective,” Governor Alagaw roared.
“I see that your humor returned Governor,” Det. Pouetmo smiled. “Be glad that the gas evacuation didn’t escalate to solid waste evacuations…I mean a synchronized bomb release…I mean….messy…very messy and embarrassing…”They were now bent over with laughing.
“Oh, I forgot, governor, something’s not right though, strange may I say. The laboratory analysis of the gas in the conference room showed that it contained nitrous oxide—laughing gas.”
“The Governor called. He wants me to send you to the capitol to solve a mysterious ‘gas explosion’ that almost killed his guests.” The detective noticed that his boss was in good humor. “Here’s the narrative of the incident, do your best Detective.”
The Chief of the Bulik-bulik Bureau of Crime Detection handed Pouetmo a manila envelope. “I hope you enjoy solving this one,” the Captain half smiled and half laughed. “Ciao…go,go,go… arrevaderci aroma…bonjour monsoon...”
From the Narrative Report
….The governor of Balac-bac had invited nutrition experts from Manila to help in his administration’s fight against malnutrition in the province…
…The guests were in the middle of their discussions when the Provincial Health Officer, who was speaking at that time, suddenly farted. The guest were dumfounded at the sudden outburst of gas that a few of them suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter, which of course, caused them to inhale air that increased pressures in their stomachs that later caused them to depressurize too. Of course this additional gas outburst created more laughter that created more gas pressures in the stomach that caused more gas depressurization that caused more laughter. The incessant release of stomach gasses compounded with the non-stop laughing exhausted the guest that they lost consciousness...
… It was 5 o’clock in the afternoon when the incident was discovered. The janitor was making his rounds when he came by the Conference Room and opened the door; the door literally flew open because of the positive gas pressure inside. It was fortunate that the janitor was not smoking that time because if he did the methane and butane content of the gas in the conference room would have ignited and caused a combustion creating a powerful vacuum in the conference room that would have imploded the whole structure...
…The Provincial Rescue Team came into the scene a few minutes later. Twelve gas-masked operatives hauled the victims to the ambulances. Medical examinations revealed that aside from fatigues, the guests also suffered from asphyxiation. They were released few hours later from the hospital…
“Det. Pouetmo,” Governor Alagaw said, “I heard how you solved my cousin Tubangbakod’s death. I’m impressed. Please help me solve this case. The press is already calling the province the Bio-gas capitol of the Philippines and it’s embarrassing us. I hope you do see the political fall out of this incident.” Det. Pouetmo was looking at the governor’s pleading face, and he can’t help but feel pity for the predicament the chief executive of Balac-bac is in. “I will do my best to solve this mysterious…er…gas evacuations governor. Rest assured that this will over with the soonest possible time.”
_____________________________________________________________
Det. Pouetmo was looking at the result of the laboratory analysis of the food served by the caterer. The result proved his hunch. He immediately ordered an interview with the chef in charge of the food preparation. After the interview, he then proceeded to the governor’s office. (Such was his efficiency.)
“Governor, it seems that the food served in the conference was the culprit. They were contaminated by a rare strain of flatus producing lacto-mycotarium-bacteria. I ordered a DNA analysis of the sample contaminants found in the food and I compared them to the DNA samples taken from the caterer’s staff. The result showed that the culprit was the chef. I interviewed him and did some test on him and we found out that he was suffering from a violent…er….virulent ring worm infection on his crotch. From what we gathered from his statement, it seems our chef scratch his crotch, didn’t wash his hands, infected the food.”
“Good work detective,” The Governor gravely said, “I was thinking of filing charges against the chef and the caterer. What do you suggest detective? Reckless imprudence resulting to …”
“No governor, I have a better suggestion. Why not give the chef a month’s supply of garlic for his ringworm…” There was a crack in the governor’s face, a few seconds later; the gravity on his face suddenly broke into laughter. “I dare say that’s a good one detective,” Governor Alagaw roared.
“I see that your humor returned Governor,” Det. Pouetmo smiled. “Be glad that the gas evacuation didn’t escalate to solid waste evacuations…I mean a synchronized bomb release…I mean….messy…very messy and embarrassing…”They were now bent over with laughing.
“Oh, I forgot, governor, something’s not right though, strange may I say. The laboratory analysis of the gas in the conference room showed that it contained nitrous oxide—laughing gas.”
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