Scooters/James Brown

Long live Voltes Five and perdition to Prince Zardos and the Bozanian! Can somebody please tell me when will this end? I am not talking about the intergalactic battle between Voltes Five and the Bozanian Empire. I’m talking about something more nonsensical and insane: the Filipinos obsession with motor scooter.

Before, my country men had altered their scooters mufflers to make it sound like a 2000cc Harley Davidson Easy Rider. I tell you this is insane. You can hear this booming motorcycle engine harrumphing down the road, and you’d expect a zooming Arnold Schwarzenegger on an inhuman sized motorcycle only to find a skinny Filipino on a 100 cc Honda scooter walking by. It’s funny, but once you hear a group of these loud, undersized bikes, Hell’s Fart Riders is what they are, broom-brooming down the road you’d wish the Children of the Corn would meet them and reap them heads of them miniscule riders. They’re noise polluters and what’s insane is their proud of it.

And now, oh now, this is for the Guinness Book of World records, oh now my countrymen have installed stereos in their miniscule scooters. How on earth can they hear them stereos if their traveling with their helmets on? How can they hear their stereos given the fact that their scooters mufflers boom like a Huey Helicopter?

I want to bash my head with a sponge and hope I bleed to death at these inanities.

This stereo thing is the latest scooter craze, and the fact that these Hell’s Fart Riders travel in packs, you can imagine the noise they generate.

My countrymen have installed lifters to these scooters to make them look like motocross bikes, then they removed the lifters and lowered them to minimize ‘air drag”, as if these scooters can travel at the speed of sound, then they altered the mufflers so that they will sound like a real big bike, and now they’ve installed stereos. What’s next? Airconditioning? Anti lock Brake System? Power Steering? Spoilers?

James Brown

I was surfing the net and I read that James Brown, the king of soul, is already dead (guess that means that I'm really late with news). He died on Dec. 25, 2006. I was just listening to his CD this morning and I can't help but feel sad that such a groovy man is gone. He's a great influence to Filipino musicians. I hear traces of his sound to such diverse pinoy bands from the experimental Radio Active Sago Project to Eraserheads to Yoyoy Villame to the funky now defunked POT.

For a man who can create ecstasy out of a single chord...James Brown, you're my man! You made me feel Good!